ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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