ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it's like heaven, but drunker
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
