My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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