He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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