Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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