We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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