walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
