paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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