sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
