she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You are the jesus of drinking
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
