oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
