We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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