If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
