My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
