I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
