my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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