KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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