Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
