I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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