apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize