He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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