I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
How's work?
Spinning.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
