i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
