At least make sure they are 18
Why
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My bed smells like the plague
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
