I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Do vagina's smell?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
