We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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