she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
