what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
