Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
