she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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