Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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