so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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