Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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