He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
