Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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