Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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