And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
