My room smells like vodka and shame
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
