i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Oh god it's open bar.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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