The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize