sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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