i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
