you turned your livingroom into a bong?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
