have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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