Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
