i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
