just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Im part way to drunk.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
