ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
