Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
