totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
