Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
