so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
