Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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