just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I supernannyed him into submission
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
