He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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