the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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