Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
