He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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