Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
