I'm jealous of your bromance
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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