I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
